Stormy Weather…

Couples who have been together long enough to look back over a period of more than just a few years all have specific tales to tell. Sometimes the stories are humorous, or not.  A pursed-lips recount of travel plans gone awry or an unlovely vacation may feel scratchy, depending on the outcome.

Bouts of physical/mental illness or other challenging circumstances represent trying time for both parties, and I’ve heard it said that what appears to be a trivial incident long after is sometimes the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

When a marriage break-up occurs, it’s devastating – from observers’ points of view. A lot of tongues wagging about he said, she said… I knew it wouldn’t last… and sometimes astonishment - “they’re the last ones I ever thought this would happen to!”. Stories abound and surface from abundant sources; and opinions vary widely. Eventually the dust settles and the survivors each try to find their own way in a world they aren’t knowledgeable of. Resolution can be happy, sad or desperate.

A couple well-known to me seem to have weathered a lot of storms, a May-December marriage which presents age-related challenges for both. The wife chuckles about “grumpy old men” and he grumbles when things aren’t going his way. The restraints of longevity bring impatience – as it goes with many people there is a time when they just don’t want to bother or be bothered.

My own husband and I were recently chatting about well-meaning eulogies often heard at a funeral or alternatively, a celebration of life. Looping DVD collections of photographs are sometimes projected on a large-screen monitor, or easel-mounted collages displaying memories of happier times.

The task of composing and delivering an overview of the person’s life and accomplishments is not to be taken lightly – it can be daunting. Not only is there the challenge of maintaining one’s composure at a stressful time, the listeneners are attentive and hanging on every word! It feels important to speak kindly lest there be any inkling whatsoever of any less-than-loving remembrances.

I think that a celebration of life feels less somber and cloying.  Snuffles are less audible, feelings of shock or dismay may be less intense and there’s even a possibility of jovial laughter when “Remember the time….” starts a conversation.

Stormy weather is seemingly less memorable when the clouds have passed.

Promises, promises...

Collections of cosmetics are often accumulated when consumers are tantalized by the target-specific advertising promotions on T-V, magazine glossies, billboards and the like.

The rare and precious occasions that allow men or women to sit and leisurely browse are often coincident with feeling weary, overwhelmed and likely overcommitted.

The not-so-tight muscle tone, softer jawline and inevitable dark circles and puffy eyelids challenge our own perceptions of looking and feeling fresh and ready to take up the challenges of the day. Our “game face” is cleansed away before bedtime and re-applied in the unforgiving light of day, and we are eager to try out any recommended tricks and tips to alleviate and “improve”.

“Help! There’s a raccoon in my bathroom!” motivates us to make that conscious decision to try for a renewed, refreshed and more current look. In my own assortment I have at least four different eye-products to brighten and lighten the lids and dark circles. Great, so now they’re more noticeable because I’m obviously not applying the camouflage properly.

Let’s face it – both Barbie™ and Ken™ dolls have matured over the years – and collectors still love them with all the silly perceived faults.

Composer Bob Dylan’s “Forever Young” lyrics don’t relate to physical appearance… anti-aging products are just promises, promises!

Fits ‘n Spurts…

The hilarity of inadvertent stumbles when in conversation sometimes go unnoticed by the participant who is speaking. The other party or parties included may chuckle silently, turn away in amusement or bite their own lip to avoid an outburst of laughter!

If the stumbler recognizes his/her own oops, their reaction may be not so amused – so it’s essential that we are thoughtful and considerate if the speaker has simply chosen a totally wrong word or massacred it!

While browsing through the newspaper flyers recently, a couple I know was discussing a newer plus-type protective underwear – and maybe it would be worth a try.  Subliminal advertising always tweaks one’s attention, and indeed the “new and improved, or plus” seems to imply that the product is better than before.

They decided that the next purchase of the necessary protection would be to give the featured item a try. Tongue in cheek, the wife related to me that her husband, in describing his circumstances, declared that incontinence was in fits ‘n spurts!

“We’re in a new era, are you?”

 

This timely question was the subject of a recent e-mail from a real estate service provider. The question however can pertain to nearly everyone who’s in their third quarter of the employment or employable phase of their working life.

I recently had occasion to meet an inspiring young lady whose career is in the coaching field. Her zeal and determination to impart current skills to clients is so exciting! Social media, catch-phrases that we aren’t familiar with, and even the “how-tos” of cold-calling for new client opportunities can be overwhelming.

Whether we are business professionals, changing careers, or getting back into the work force we all have what are called “transferable skills”. In particular, I felt enthusiastic about new catch phrases – particularly in letter writing for business purposes, which are nouveau and of the new era.

Inter-generational marketing of ourselves clearly requires that we are in the know and current. Real estate professionals are encouraged to find a niche and focus on that aspect of their business – in some marketplaces however, such as Muskoka where I work, there are a wide variety of prospective buyers and sellers who have real estate needs.

Being familiar with and comfortable in the understanding of new lingo that is current gives us a sense of confidence and ability to integrate rather than being on the proverbial “outside looking in”.

Inspiration, for me, comes from the question “We’re in a new era, are you?” 

It’s The Secret…

I recently had occasion to overhear a woman commenting about a book that was assigned to Book Club – not a subject of her personal choosing but nonetheless to be discussed by attendees.

It was too much of a coincidence that I actually had an extra copy of the video – still unseen; and I had not read the book either.

Last week I was able to borrow this same book and sat down with intention to at least make some headway. Names of many contributors were familiar to me – I was surprised and delighted. Here are just a few who come to mind: Esther and Jerry Hicks (the Teachings of Abraham), Jack Canfield (Chicken Soup …series), Marie Diamond (Diamond Feng-Shui), and Norman Vincent Peale.

If you type in The Secret on Google™ there are refuting comments included from learned and effective people, well established in their own right.

Lest you feel derisive or disagreeable, the universal message is positivity in every way we can conjure it. We’ve all heard accounts close to home, and perhaps it’s happened to us, that a Random Act of Kindness has brightened someone’s day.

How “a smile is your umbrella…” or looking at life from the “sunny side of the street”.

Honeysweet smiley-face Emoticons in text or e-mail messages can be nettling (or not) – depending on who they are from or the subject matter! For me, the probabilities and pitfalls of feeling and looking downcast are far outbalanced by the promise of possibility.

 I have yet to finish reading Rhonda Byrne’s best selling 2006 book entitled The Secret, and will view the video afterward. The woman I overheard speaking somehow seems to have a brighter outlook…so who’s to say what?

The power of positive thinking, however mustered, manifests as a feel-good, do good emotional boost.

It’s The Secret.

A Double Take…

Television newscasters present a wide variety of subject matter to their viewers. The subject matter included in an hour-long program varies widely, and includes specific segments peppered in between with commercials.

Developing stories or follow-ups to yesterdays’ events keep people informed and in synch. Dinner table conversations following the early news can include the sharing of differing opinions, outright debates, or conservative deference to noisiness.

The world of Sports includes analyses, discussion and a lot of biliousness after the games are lost, players are traded, or free-agency is in place. All the what ifs, whens and whys is fodder for anyone who earns their living by encouraging dialogue and discussion.

The sputtering and exclaimed remarks might be thought of as philosophizing – last night I learned a new adjective however... A slip of an overly-excited tongue blurted out the word “fossilizing”; which indeed caused me to do a double take!

Hard-wired for problem-solving…

The June 24, 2013 issue of Woman’s World magazine offered tantalizing feel good/look good snippets. A paragraph on page 4 indicated that “men’s brains are not wired to pick up on the subtle facial clues that reveal how others are feeling”…This segued my brain to an oldie-goldie song that made #1 on the “Billboard charts” in 1954. Penned and published in 1953 by Edith Lindeman and Carl Stutz, it was made famous by songstress Kitty Kallen.

A part-time career many years ago found me playing easy-listening drums and singing pretty melodies, in harmony with my musician husband who was a professional pianist and composer in his own right. I still have a notebook of hand printed lyrics and several sheaves of Murray Graham’s arrangements and harmonies for duets! Among those is a wistful favourite which I think every woman would find inspiration in from time to time.

“Little Things Mean a Lot” is plaintiff and heart-wrenching…”Throw me a kiss from across the room, say I look nice when I’m not, Touch my hair as you pass my chair, Little Things Mean a Lot”.  The melody is easy to hum and the lyrics are as meaningful now as then.

In this day and age of hurry-hurry, 24/7, on-the-go incessantly and hardly a second to catch one’s breath, the Woman’s Day item concludes that all we have to do is “tell him how/what we’re feeling and what would make us feel better.” Sounds simple, but not consoling!

Who’dathunkit…..scientific studies indicate that men’s brains are wired to be problem solvers.