Feeling Settled…Oops!

Ever notice that, with the proverbial Ups and Downs of Life, that once in awhile we begin to feel almost settled? After diligent and long-time plodding toward the sought-after circumstance of contentment, we begin to feel as if we’re almost achieving what we’ve been striving for.

The word “happiness” is elusive – many people relate to this differently. What happiness is to one person may not nearly resemble what that word means to another. I feel for myself, that  “contentment” is more comprehensive. Before we start feeling to comfy cozy though, an unexpected bit of news which may be probable or not. Nonetheless, this strikes us to our very core with a sense of feeling undone – “how could this happen now?”.

Someone close recently e-mailed me with exciting news about a new job position – for which the invitation to complete an online competency test was extended.

The stuff of dreams for this woman, after a too-long/too hard slug for many years.

I was able to rationalize the pros and identify the wonderful opportunity immediately, then my personal self banged at the door of goodwill and insidiously muttered “but……what about me? What about the thoughts we’ve discussed for our future?”

The Real Me has composed myself and dried my snuffles – I truly wish the very best for this woman and am encouraging her to be the very best she can be. Reach for the stars, sister!  The possibility is fabulous and probability high.

Having one’s cage rattled now and then averts complacency. Just when we start feeling settled….oops!

Romancing the Stone….

It’s seldom that I watch television, and likely can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I’ve seen daytime T-V unless ailing on the couch with the snuffles!

At present however, I’m seated in a dentist’s office awaiting my hubby. The big-screen television has a show airing called The Doctors, and material content is fascinating. There’s a warning about “explicitness” which might upset viewers.

So far in one episode I’ve learned about several life threatening afflictions and some conditions which affect a couples’ sex life! Such as hip inflammation caused by tissue tears or joint irritation and malfunction that is relieved with orthopedic surgery.

Sexual dysfunction between couples is more common than not – and glossy magazines with covers promising tidbits to improve the situation are eagerly snatched off the racks!

Some folks resort to a retreat – for counselling. I haven’t yet had a chance to view the 2012 movie entitled Hope Springs starring Meryl Streep. The trailer clips are hilarious – especially one scene in a restaurant where the server calls for a show of hands from anyone who’s not indulging any more. There’s a sea of upraised arms!

Even if you’re feeling hard and as chilled as granite, find some giggles everyday – romancing the stone can be heart warming!

Catching Some Z-z-z-z’s

In the “funnies” section of the newspaper, recently the Retail™ comic strip

Showed Marla the store manager fretting about her appearance. Her anguished comment to a co-worker was that “I work too hard to look my age!” It struck me that most of us do look our age because the travails of everyday life and living are too weighty to bear without some consequential looks of “aging”.

Anyone who acts as a full-time caregiver for a chronically unwell family member can identify with the parallels between new moms and their darling babies… Refreshing sleep, sufficient downtime and unending responsibilities all take their toll – which ultimately reflects in one’s appearance. Do you see a pair of raccoon eyes looking back at you from the unforgiving mirror?

Both women and men require recommended amounts of sleep to stay well, feel rested and aware, and maintain both mental and physical health. If employment comes into the equation there is increased responsibility to not take days off, keep your performance in the workplace sharp, and don’t whine about the inequalities of life and living. Co-workers may utter sympathetic murmurs and shake their heads sagely – nevertheless it can all feel overwhelming , relentless and solitary.

If you’re wondering whether that light at the end of the tunnel you see is relief in the future, think again – maybe it’s a train! Admonitions to “take care of you first” fall on our deaf ears – though we know that this truism makes perfect sense.

For someone else!

What fun to have a mini-holiday – run away to a remote cabin with no phone and just sleep, swim and paddle my own canoe!

This gauzy dream will be fulfilled this afternoon when I catch some zzzzz’s.

According to the Straw Man……

(photo courtesy of Kenny Francis)

We’ve all heard stories of mid-life crises – both men and women have been known to self-inflict too many “what ifs” and “if only” thoughts that can feel anguishing. Stories number too many and impactful results are sometimes hard to overcome, including financial repercussions.

In the August 2, 2013 issue of the Toronto Star, columnist Carol Goar penned an article entitled Retirement choice is paramount for an aging population. She writes that “The notion of retiring at an arbitrary age – usually between 60 and 65 – is out of step with the needs and wishes of older Canadians” as stated by university economists Marcel Boyer and Sebastien Boyer. Hooray!!

The article also goes on to say that “to uphold living standards, forestall skill shortages and give older workers the flexibility they want, Canada will need policies that encourage people to upgrade their skills through their careers, take on new challenges in mid-life and curtail their hours of employment as their energy and mental acuity wanes”. Hooray!

Some of us feel that we don’t want to just put in time; we want to strive and live life to the fullest.

For me personally, the anticipation of future achievements counters the famous song lyrics from the Wizard of Oz -

          I would not be just a nuffin'
            My head all full of stuffin'
            My heart all full of pain
            I would dance and be merry
            Life would be a ding-a-derry
            If I only had a brain

…according to The Straw Man

Stormy Weather…

Couples who have been together long enough to look back over a period of more than just a few years all have specific tales to tell. Sometimes the stories are humorous, or not.  A pursed-lips recount of travel plans gone awry or an unlovely vacation may feel scratchy, depending on the outcome.

Bouts of physical/mental illness or other challenging circumstances represent trying time for both parties, and I’ve heard it said that what appears to be a trivial incident long after is sometimes the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

When a marriage break-up occurs, it’s devastating – from observers’ points of view. A lot of tongues wagging about he said, she said… I knew it wouldn’t last… and sometimes astonishment - “they’re the last ones I ever thought this would happen to!”. Stories abound and surface from abundant sources; and opinions vary widely. Eventually the dust settles and the survivors each try to find their own way in a world they aren’t knowledgeable of. Resolution can be happy, sad or desperate.

A couple well-known to me seem to have weathered a lot of storms, a May-December marriage which presents age-related challenges for both. The wife chuckles about “grumpy old men” and he grumbles when things aren’t going his way. The restraints of longevity bring impatience – as it goes with many people there is a time when they just don’t want to bother or be bothered.

My own husband and I were recently chatting about well-meaning eulogies often heard at a funeral or alternatively, a celebration of life. Looping DVD collections of photographs are sometimes projected on a large-screen monitor, or easel-mounted collages displaying memories of happier times.

The task of composing and delivering an overview of the person’s life and accomplishments is not to be taken lightly – it can be daunting. Not only is there the challenge of maintaining one’s composure at a stressful time, the listeneners are attentive and hanging on every word! It feels important to speak kindly lest there be any inkling whatsoever of any less-than-loving remembrances.

I think that a celebration of life feels less somber and cloying.  Snuffles are less audible, feelings of shock or dismay may be less intense and there’s even a possibility of jovial laughter when “Remember the time….” starts a conversation.

Stormy weather is seemingly less memorable when the clouds have passed.

Promises, promises...

Collections of cosmetics are often accumulated when consumers are tantalized by the target-specific advertising promotions on T-V, magazine glossies, billboards and the like.

The rare and precious occasions that allow men or women to sit and leisurely browse are often coincident with feeling weary, overwhelmed and likely overcommitted.

The not-so-tight muscle tone, softer jawline and inevitable dark circles and puffy eyelids challenge our own perceptions of looking and feeling fresh and ready to take up the challenges of the day. Our “game face” is cleansed away before bedtime and re-applied in the unforgiving light of day, and we are eager to try out any recommended tricks and tips to alleviate and “improve”.

“Help! There’s a raccoon in my bathroom!” motivates us to make that conscious decision to try for a renewed, refreshed and more current look. In my own assortment I have at least four different eye-products to brighten and lighten the lids and dark circles. Great, so now they’re more noticeable because I’m obviously not applying the camouflage properly.

Let’s face it – both Barbie™ and Ken™ dolls have matured over the years – and collectors still love them with all the silly perceived faults.

Composer Bob Dylan’s “Forever Young” lyrics don’t relate to physical appearance… anti-aging products are just promises, promises!

Fits ‘n Spurts…

The hilarity of inadvertent stumbles when in conversation sometimes go unnoticed by the participant who is speaking. The other party or parties included may chuckle silently, turn away in amusement or bite their own lip to avoid an outburst of laughter!

If the stumbler recognizes his/her own oops, their reaction may be not so amused – so it’s essential that we are thoughtful and considerate if the speaker has simply chosen a totally wrong word or massacred it!

While browsing through the newspaper flyers recently, a couple I know was discussing a newer plus-type protective underwear – and maybe it would be worth a try.  Subliminal advertising always tweaks one’s attention, and indeed the “new and improved, or plus” seems to imply that the product is better than before.

They decided that the next purchase of the necessary protection would be to give the featured item a try. Tongue in cheek, the wife related to me that her husband, in describing his circumstances, declared that incontinence was in fits ‘n spurts!