In the February 4, 2014 issue
of the Toronto Star, Life Reporter Nancy J. White has penned an article
entitled “Chatting with Your Inner Coach”.
She quotes Ethan Cross, lead
author of a study result published in the February issue of The Journal of
Personality and Social Psychology that “to think about yourself as if you were
another person provides psychological space, which helps people to exert self
control”….
The comments are fascinating.
Some people make up a list of Pros and Cons to help them with decision making. Others
appeal to friends and other trusted advisors to help them quell anxiety and see
the probabilities more clearly. Visualizing the person who is stressing over an
issue is helpful – if that person is me it can be a challenge to be
objective!
Sometimes just talking it
through, aloud, helps me clear the air – but as Associate Professor Kross
states “to talk to yourself out loud in the third person violates all sorts of
social norms.”
My husband is a great
mutterer-to-oneself, which is sometimes more than slightly irritating, but at
least he gets the answers he’s seeking! I seem to have noticed that people who
live alone also have audible conversations that may seem odd to guests but are
nonetheless fulfilling. And pet owners find great consolation in discussing
their issues in dogspeak or conferring with the cat!
A close friend of mine,
coming up to an important 1st Interview date, is feeling anxious.
She has been gleaning and reviewing possible “interview questions” and which
responses would be most appropriate. It
seems most probable that if she were to express her thoughts aloud and rehearse
in the terminology of “you” – as in assisting a friend objectively, that the
technique will instill the self-confidence she doesn’t yet feel.
Nancy White’s article
“Chatting with Your Inner Coach” is timely and pertinent when the question
we’re deliberating is How Can I…?
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